Tuesday, May 05, 2009

EASY BAKER


Hah!
I did this little poem at least six months back, back before I had Diabetes, before I dreamed of Chavonne, and back before I started posting about my drug addiction and sharing my experiences with Narcotics Anonymous.

I now have 287 days of being "Clean and Sober" but I'm still the weirdest kid on the block. Leastways, I try to be.
A gal at the meeting a few days ago says to me
"Bulletholes, sometimes you are very strange"
and all I could think to say was "Thank you"
She just walked slowly away.

So, anyways, Banquet Manager asked if anyone ate the Croquembouche I made for the NA fundraiser, and yes, those addicts ate the shit out of that sugar mountain, licked the platter clean too.

I didn't get any comments when I posted this 6 months ago, and I do understand that I am no poet, and that many of you have likely never heard the Steppenwolf song 'The Pusher" which was the lead song of the Movie "Easy Rider" which chronicled and romanticised the drug and anti-drug culture of the late 60's, and I don't really expect any this time around.
Maybe you got to be ol' doper to know what this is about, but....

Now everyone knows what a Croquembouche is.
And that I am a Diabetic and a grateful recovering addict.
And strange...and silly too!
And I should also remind you that while I was a Chef for 24 years, I am no Bakerman...

But I do know how to smoke a Perch...









To the tune of "The Pusher" (click there) by Steppenwolf


THE BAKERMAN by bulletholes 10/1/2008


You know I smoked a lotta’ Perch,
Oh Lord
You know I mopped a lotta’ spills
But I never Poached nuthin’, nooo,
That would have been better Grilled
You know I seen a lotta’ people walkin’ round
With Pate’ a Choux in their eyes
But the Baker don’t care, if they live or if they die


Got dang, the Baker
I said got dang the Baker
Got dang, got dang, the Bakerman

You know the Pastry Chef is a man
With the Love Dough in his hand
He’s got Eclairs an' Tarts an' Pastries
Good God, he’s not a Protein man
Aww, The Baker for a nickel
Lord, will sell you lots of Sweet Creams
You’ll get the Body Fat
And the Dia-bee-tees
There'll be Croquembouche
and Confection Sugar
When you Sneeze

I said, Got dang, the Bakerman...

Well now if I were the Manager of this Hotel
You know I’d report the Bakerman
Immediately to “Personnel”
I’d truss him if he stands and
I’d roux him if he runs
I’d kill him with my Butchers mallet,
I'd Saute’ him till he’s done…

I said Got Dang, the Bakerman




2 comments:

Water Baby said...

Is the picture of the pastry lady we went to visit for the Croquombouche for boys scouts?

bulletholes said...

No, this came off the net. you are thinking of my friend Shari that has her own Pastry Shop.
Shari used to get real mad at me for eating all her pastries!