Friday, May 29, 2009

THINGS FATHERS SAY

Dad used to ask me a question when we would be driving to a fishing trip, or when we might be discussing my future.
He would ask"Would you rather be a big fish in a little pond, or a little fish in a big pond?" and we would discuss the pros and cons of each.
As time went on my answer evolved into "I'd like to be just a medium fish in a medium pond" but I don't think I ever quite told him so.

Another thing Dad used to say was "A place for everything, and everything in its place." He usually said that after finding a tool I had left rusting outside somewhere.

When it started to rain, if we were in the car, he would always very tersely say:
'Um-Ummm, these streets are slicker than snot on glass...Ummm.Ummm...GOLLY!

Other things Dad said:
"You are judged by the company you keep"
"Sometimes you have a little luck, sometimes you got none at all"
"Everything I touch turns to wood"
"Best thing about telling the truth is you never have to remember what you said"
(slowing the boat to stop and fish) "Well, this spot looks as bad as any"
(in response to a colleague asking him how he's doing) "Anybody I can"

But my favorite was always the sign he had on his desk....
"If I try to insult you its a sure sign I like you...
If i cannot insult you its a sure sign you like me...
If I haven't tried to insult you yet, please be patient"

What did your Dad say?

8 comments:

Water Baby said...

My dad used to say stuff like "Dance with me!!" "How many times did you kids wrap this thing?" "Ain't I cool?" "You know, *insert random fact about completely random subject*" "I've got this cold, hallow feeling" "Pancakes hold the answer to life, the universe and everything" I may have altered a few, but I think he says all of these things pretty often!

bulletholes said...

Well, my dada was smarter than your dad!
I do say one smart thing a lot though...
"call your mother"
Always call your mother, Babay!

West Texas Insomniac said...

Dad was a unique character. Grew up dirt poor outside of Buffalo Gap. Graduated high school (Abilene Wylie) in 1955. By the time I was born in '63 he was getting ready to get his Insurance, (and later, Securities), License. Worked for Prudential for 30 years and put in for his retirement in late '94. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 leukemia in January and died in June of '95. He was 58 years old.

I never saw my dad "out of place". He genuinely liked people and knew a lot of them, from the shady owner of the dive bar to the local D.A. He loved to fish and he loved his family. And the Dallas Cowboys. He filled me to the brim with life lessons and advice as soon as I was old enough to understand it. He knew when I was "older" I wouldn't listen & I'd have to touch that stove to make sure it was hot. There are dozens of pieces of "father to son" advice and one-liners, (some I won't share on a family blog). So I thought I'd throw a couple out there that maybe we all haven't heard over & over.

1) "Remember, I can't get you out of a Mexican jail."

2) "Don't get caught without $50 tucked in your wallet."

3) "You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she pets a dog."

4) "You don't really know someone until you've seen them drunk while you're sober."

5) "Give a firm handshake. Look people in the eye."

6) "Avoid fighting, but if you can't avoid it, never let them get the first punch in."

7) "A jealous husband will kill you quicker than all your other sins combined."

8) "A person that will lie to you will steal from you."

9) "Everybody needs to visit New York City, Las Vegas and New Orleans during Mardi Gras."

10) In June '95: "Don't let life pass you by. No regrets. No excuses. Live with a passion."

laughingattheslut said...

My dad was a genius redneck. Literally, he had the redneck from working on power lines and such, and it took about twenty years for it to go away.

He was one of those people who really had forgotten more stuff than most people knew to begin with. And he would get distracted. So he would be about to tell you something, and then in the middle of it he would forget what he was going to say. And then he would shake his head and say "I guess that it must not have been very important", and he would move on to something else.

I suspect that one of those times when he said that, he was about to come up with something really big, like the physicist equivalent to the cure for cancer. Though I am pretty sure he didn't actually come up with a cure for cancer, as biology was not his area of expertise.

Dave Mows Grass said...

"Why don't you find something constructive to do."

It wasn't a suggestion; it was a command which needed to be executed immediately. And remember to turn the TV off. Other than that, Dad wasn't real big on idioms. He could make himself understood just fine without them!

e said...

Other than "Children are seen and not heard," or "When I say jump, you say how high," I don't remember much...I left the answer to your Arlington question on my blog.

Have a grear day! Have you heard anything of Lola AKA Red Dirt Mule???

During my hiatus her blog appears to have been taken down. I hope all is well with her...

Barbara said...

My father was great at swearing when he had a hammer in hand. I loved hanging around then, with my mother saying, "Howard, she's listening!" He also had a sign that said something like "I could never spell ENGINEER, but now I are one!" Go figure...

GrizzBabe said...

Dads, the good ones, always say memorable stuff. Mine, not so much.