Tuesday, March 08, 2011

LOVELY RITA

What I won't do for love won't get done.

I've cried, cleaned my apartment, played hard-to-get, begged for it; bought Dom Perignon, got fallin' down stupid; wore tight pants, tight shirts, high heels; talked sweet, talked dirty, talked all night on the telephone; got haircuts, grew mustaches, even let a couple chicks paint my toenails once. I've sung "Reminiscing" and been to see "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" on acid trying to get laid.
I even tried to learn the Cotton Eyed Joe for Rita.

Lovely Rita. I stole her from her boyfriend, but I stole her fair and square. It only took a couple months, and I really did like Rita.

We'd stay up all night and argue. We didn't fight; the arguments weren't heated, just long and we could just never seem to come to agreement on anything, like how to get the hostages back from Khomeni, which Christopher Cross song (Ride Like The Wind, duh) was the best or whether Jimmy Carter knew peanuts about how to run the country, and when the topic had at last played out and it was time to go to bed, well, thats where we always did OK, until at about 15 minutes into our lovemaking when Rita would say:
'Well lets just say that if Reagan is elected, the Moral Majority will outlaw Sexual Congress"

She was the sweetest disaster that lasted two years and ended with a broken bottle of Jack Black and her moving to Atlanta.
I got her silver T-Bird and the payments to go with it.
She got her freedom and my Washer and Dryer.
I never heard from her again except....

When I got married a couple years later to Shila, Rita sent us a card, but as Shila pointed out, Rita forgot to sign it.
How do you forget to sign a card?
Shila said it was Rita's way of stickin' it to us, but I wasn't going to argue about it.

12 comments:

Kim said...

Sounds like a waste of a bottle of good whiskey if you ask me. Id regret that more than the washer/dryer....Delbert McClinton wrote a song about this very thing--did you stay up drinking with him one night? I'm gonna post it on MY Facebook page for you. I don't know how else to get it to you via Mr Droid. Hope you like.

bulletholes said...

kim, you might like to know that david Ballard played a role in me stealing Rita from her boyfriend.
And rita appears here as well.
http://srevestories.blogspot.com/2010/06/man-you-got-to-breathe.html

And that Delbert mcClinton song sounds like just the kind of song Rita would like. She would be trying to drag our drunken asses out to the dance floor for the purpose of getting me to Two-Step, and we'd be fighting and laughing the whole way on the dance floor to the parking lot and safely tucked away in bed before we would move on to debate whether Olivia Newton John was from Sydney or Melbourne.
Its too bad we didn't have Google back then. How did we ever survive?

Kim said...

Isn't that the truth! I can remember back in the eighties when John Sewell was the only person I knew with internet or the only one who even knew about it. It was prodigy. I sure couldn't imagine from that black screen with too many lit up lines of type where it was all headed. I love Google. I love google on Mr Droid here in my hand.
David Ballard. Wonder if he's still with that Buck toothed smart smart girl. Can't recall her name. God he was smart. And funny. She was a pain.
I had a crazy friend named Rita who would debate anything in a kind of schizo way. She could take either side. I always think of her when I hear that song.

Martijn said...

Thanks Steve for yet another rockblast of a super story. I so love these!

bulletholes said...

Thanks martijn!
Kim, it was actually that '
smart girl" that got to talking about 'Sexual Congress" one night when David Rita and I were sittin around. I asked her of Sexual Congress was like fucking. She didn't like me much.

Kim said...

hahaha. sexual congress like fucking. you crack me up. Well, she didn't have time for me either, intellectually speaking.
we were talking about David a couple of nights ago and everybody but me was of the opinion that he was gay. I never thought that at all, did you? I kind of idolized him in high school, he was a couple of years ahead of me--you know how young girls can be...

bulletholes said...

David gay? i doubt it but....look for a story in my blog here called "A Change of Heart"

Kim said...

well, I been looking for that story, scanning the monthly title lists and reading those that catch my eye, but I haven't found it yet. Did find something about my love, Cat Stevens, and The Magicat Earth Tour. I posted a youtube on your FB page this morning for you about it...I'll find that blog about changing your heart eventually.

bulletholes said...

Have you figured out how to use the search box up in the upper left hand side of my blog? You can type in a word or phrase and it will take you to posts....
http://srevestories.blogspot.com/search?q=a+change+of+heart&updated-max=2006-12-28T07%3A04%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=20

Kim said...

oh. so there it is. I did look. Kinda like staring into the refrigerator for something you know is there but still can't find.
oh well. my way was fun just the same. It was getting tedious reading in order.

Kim said...

I followed your link and read change of heart. Turns out I read it a couple of weeks ago. It's a very lovely recollection of a precious friendship. Gay is something that I grew up with. My closest brother is gay.
I don't comment on most of what I read of your old blogs. I figure it's probably a bit of a pain for you to keep up with the comments on your blogs, so I don't want to weight you down. Reading the old stuff has become more a fact-finding mission than an interaction. I only comment when I can't keep my big mouth shut and just listen, so to speak...

bulletholes said...

you are funny