Monday, March 05, 2007

CARLOS MENCIA / REWRITE THIS POST

Old Lady had a post concerning thongs; I think the idea was that everyone contribute their thong story or how mid-life has affected thier choice on underwear or something; I guess I have a story along those lines, from several months back and from the abandoned blog.
Its a sad little story.

My daughter has just moved in with me. We are both so very excited as it has been 8 years since we lived together. She is 17 and a Senior in High School. She stays so incredibly busy with the Marching Band there is barely time for her to study or be a kid. With this in mind I told her that I would be doing all her laundry. I did the first loads last night.
Its been a long time since I had occasion to get an up close look at women’s’ underwear.
I knew it had been a long time
I found out last night just how long its been.
I had heard of a “Thong” before but never actually seen one. I don’t know how y'all wear those things.

But there was another type that made no sense to me. They looked like a thong, but the stretchy fabric was cut much wider. The leg holes were different too, and made no sense. The entire ass and the pubic region would be uncovered if one was to wear them the way they seemed to be designed. I turned them around... no appreciable difference. I turned them upside down... made no sense.
 Inside out? Only a “Flatlander” would know.
Nothing about these panties added up.
The only purpose they seemed to serve was to leave crotch and ass exposed and enhance the panty lines. And she sure did have a lot of them, very popular.

It was with much anticipation that I waited for her to come home to see what a nice job I had done with her laundry and to ask her about the mysterious lingerie.
“Hi Daddy”
“Hey, Girlie, got your laundry done....see what a good job I did!”
“Thanks Daddy”
I get a hug and a kiss.
“Water Baby’, I got to know something.I’ve never seen a thong before so I gotta ask... Do you have no ass crack, girl?”
She giggles and smiles and laughs.... “Oh, Daddy, you are soooo funny!”.
“And , honey what the hell kind of panties are these” as I hold up the crotch-less, ass-less panties that make no sense as panties.
Her eyes get wide. “Oh my God Daddy, you are so silly.
THOSE ARE NOT PANTIES, THEY ARE "SPORTS BRAS"!


”Oh Yeah,, Sports Bras, I forgot about Sports bras” I say as I snap my fingers.
I had never seen one of those either.

11 comments:

Mother of Invention said...

You guys are so cool with all that stuff! Hilarious! Can you see that happening in our generation with our parents? Not bloodly likely! I was so embarrassed about all that stuff with my dad around.
You're such a great dad, for Water Baby!

Barbara said...

You know parents never really know anything! Can you imagine her relating this to her friends? I'm sure you made their day!

steve said...

yeah, mOM, when i was a kid and a commercial came on for a Playtex Living Bra I just wanted to die! I remember a cover for a LIFE Magaine that read "The Nude Look" an article about Bikinis or something, and I asked my mother what "Nude" meant and she looked like SHE wanted to die.
I've tried hard to not be that way...actually I haven't had to "try" very hard at all.

red-dirt-girl said...

First of all I have to echo MoI's comment - you are definitely a "Cool" dad to not freak out....and talk openly with Water Baby........just wait, however, for the day she decides to start going 'commando'......!

rdg

Old Lady said...

RDG-Yay commando! Just not a la Spears.

Stevie Pooh-They make thongs for dudes too!

steve said...

Commando? Methinks that may be how I go....
a thong? You might as well strap one to a pumpkin and shove a Grapefruit inside as clap your eyes on me in a Thong!

steve said...

you know, i can't believe I just said that! Sometimes its not OK to joke yourself...oh well...

Annelisa said...

:-D lol! Now I'm really wipin' me eyes from the tears rollin' down!

The image of you wearing a cowboy hat and thong! :-D I think I'm just gonna have to sleep on that one!!!

GrizzBabe said...

Hmmmm, cowboy hat and a thong. That has possibilities.

steve said...

Boots, there should be boots...

Water Baby said...

I can't believe he reposted that... I didn't like it the first time he did it...