Monday, March 19, 2007

THE LOSS OF ATTRACTION

Part 4
The Benediction

Its obvious to me that if there had been any real passion between Laura and myself that there would not have been a steady stream of people that seemed to come between us over the years.
We were just "not that into each other".

Laura is one of the most unique people I have ever known.
We were at a Bar, eating complimentary Ice Cream cones. A rakish sort of fellow sidled up next to her, looked her in the eye, looked her up and down, and licked his lips in a very exaggerated manner.Laura plunged her Ice Cream cone right into the fellows left eye, and all three of us were ejected.

Laura was fired from her job; she had been there as Bartender for 12 years. Her offence was pouring a glass of Beer on some bastard customers head...she had been on "Final Warning" for God only knows what.

Water Baby asked us if we had ever dated... Laura looked to me a little confused and said "I don't know..did we?""Not really" I said 'we couldn't. The whole time we were foolin' around, you were livin' with The Duke"!Water Baby laughed...if she can watch "Greys Anatomy" she can handle that.

CODA
In 1978 Laura married a man and had his son, postponing what had seemed to be a budding Romance between she and I.
Two years ago, Laura turned her 27 year old son away from the house...too many times she had taken him and his Heroin addiction in... and later that afternoon she found him in her backyard, having hanged himself on her fence.
She says "Its almost a relief", and shows no more emotion than last years Bird's Nest.
She is one tough gal... and a pistol...I know that Ol' lady and she would have a time...but "almost a relief" must be pure torture.

I hope someday she and I will be friends again. Having written this, I need to go make sure she knows who left that Candy on her Porch. Last I heard from her was "I have your number Steve and if I want to talk to you I will call you".
Does she really think there is something she can do or say that I will not be her friend?

I have never been a "Bad Boy"; I "got no game". I am not slick, or tough, or cool. Well, maybe I'm cool. Mostly, I'm just a nice guy. The "Bad boys " would be surprised at what nice guys sometimes get to do.

The Poet Game

Down by the river, junior year,
walking with my girl
and we came upon a place
there in the tall grass where a couple
had been making love
and left the mark of their embrace.
I said to her, "Looks like they had some fun."
"She said to me, "Let's do the same."
And still I taste her kisses
and her freckles in the sun
when I play the poet game.

A young man down in hill country
in the year of '22
went to see his future bride.
She lived in a rough old shack
that poverty blew through.
She invited him inside.
She'd been cooking, ashamed and feeling sad,
she could only offer him bread and her name
Grandpa said that it was the best gift
a fella ever had
and he taught me the poet game.

I had a friend who drank too much
and played too much guitar -
and we sure got along.
Reel-to-reels rolled across
the country near and far
with letters poems and songs.
But these days he don't talk to me
and he won't tell me why.
I miss him every timeI say his name.
I don't know what he's doing
or why our friendship died
while we played the poet game.

The fall rain was pounding down
on an old New Hampshire mill
and the river wild and high.
I was talking to her while leaves blew down
like a sudden chill -
there was wildness in her eyes.
We made love like we'd been waiting
all of our lives for this -
Strangers know no shame -
But she had to leave at dawn
and with a sticky farewell kiss
left me to play the poet game.

I watched my country turn into
a coast-to-coast strip mall
and I cried out in a song:
If we could do all that in thirty years,
then please tell me you all -
why does good change take so long?
Why does the color of your skin
or who you choose to love
still lead to such anger and pain?
And why do I think it's any help
for me to still dream of
playing the poet game?

Sirens wail above the fields -
another soul gone down -
another Sun about to rise.
I've lost track of my mistakes
like birds they fly around
and darken half of my skies.
To all of those I've hurt -
I pray you will forgive me.
I to you will freely do the same.
So many things I didn't see
with my eyes turned inside
playing the poet game.

I walk out at night to take a leak
underneath the stars -
oh yeah, that's the life for me.
There's Orion and the Pleiades
and I guess that must be Mars -
all as clear as we long to be.
I've sung what I was given -
some was bad and some was good.
I never did know from where it came.
And if I had it all to do again
I am not sure I would
play the poet game.

7 comments:

MOTHER OF INVENTION said...

Who wrote that? Is very interesting..Hope that Laura calls you sometime if only to chat and catch up.

GEWELS said...

Wow! Did you write that? Very, very moving. A life of experiences, loss and regrets. Who could NOT relate to that?
As for Laura- she must be living with so much pain and probably guilt to lose her son in such a tragic way. And for him to do it in such an "in your face, Mom" kind of way.
Though she shows no emotion she must be living with such remorse. My heart goes out to her.
Long-lasting friendships should sometimes just remain that. You are blessed to have someone who takes you for who you are and expects nothing in return.

kissyface said...

Steve - i might need your advice, i'm dating a Texan... are there generalizations to be made? of course not. pointers you have to give me? make something up.

xo
KF

steve said...

"The Poet Game" is Greg Brown, Iowa Farm boy in overalls, son of a travelin' preacher...Try this out Gewels.. "November" is followed by "November (a slight reprise and is probably the best little story to fall out of me so far.

steve said...

OK, I did the Comment/ link successfully...
I like Greg Brown so much I would do a Pay Per Post for him for free!
I worry about Laura...she stays so high strung and never backs down; you should see her drive!
Kissyface! There are always generalizations to be made, and hastily too... as well as a few Dicto-Simpliciters and ad Hominems...
Great tag for a post "Dating a Texan"...check back in the next week...until then, try to wear your hair "Big"!

Mother of Invention said...

Do Texans really eat "Texis toast"?

It's hugely thick!

GrizzBabe said...

Why everything's bigger in Texas!