Sunday, March 25, 2007

PARENTING 101

"if they were right, i'd agree"
the son, from"father and son"


I love the George Carlin routine where he talks about driving, saying the ones going too slow are "idiots"while the ones going too fast are "maniacs"
"Look at that maniac"
"Watch out for that idiot"
He goes on to say:
"Road Rage?" I don't have time for Road Rage... I'm too busy screaming"

You might imagine, and quite rightly, that I do not make the ideal parent. I easily qualify as an idiot or a maniac, on several levels too, but with regard to parenting; I probably am too lenient when I should be strict and become a Jailer when I should just let things be.

My daughter, the Water Baby, astutely points out in a recent post that parents tend to yell when they get worried and she wonders why that is...its no mystery to me ...

We yell because we cannot kill them!

When I was her age this song by Cat Stevens from "Tea for the Tillerman" was huge... its sung as a dialogue, and still today its the son's part I relate to the most...

FATHER AND SON
(Father)
Its not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
Youre still young, thats your fault,
Theres so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but Im happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that its not easy,
To be calm when youve found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything youve got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

(Son)
How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
Its always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now theres a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

(Father)
Its not time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
Youre still young, thats your fault,
Theres so much you have to go through.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but Im happy.

(son-- away away away, I know I have to
Make this decision alone - no)

(Son)
All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
Its hard, but its harder to ignore it.
If they were right, Id agree, but its them you know not me.
Now theres a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.
(father-- stay stay stay, why must you go and
Make this decision alone? )

14 comments:

Dave said...

Yeah, our boy is almost two and I'm already starting to understand what you're talking about here. In nearly every case , it seems like I'm the idiot and my wife is the maniac. I am by far the most patient one. Between the two of us, we seem to come up with a fairly balanced approach to whatever tricks our son throws at us. The key is remembering to collaborate, especially as his tricks become more and more clever!

I've never been a big fan of Cat Stevens or anyone else who sings songs as dialog. You have solidified that opinion here. I thank you for that!

~Dave

steve said...

oh Dave you cut me to the quick!!!
you know what your Dad used to tell me when my kids were little?
"steve, the problems just get bigger!"
darn right!

GEWELS said...

Ah! parenting-we all go into it pretty much clueless. Yet, somehow, our children come out of it pretty much unscathed by our stupidity. Amazing- isn't it?

Someone once told me that you can make an awful lot of mistakes as a parent and yet our children pretty much grow up to be rather well-adjusted (in most cases.)

Balance is the order of the day. And, learning not to freak out over every single thing- pick your battles. And letting them grow up to be the amazing creatures that God intended them to be, and allowing them to be themselves (with the occasional reigning in, when necessary).

How many billion times did we think our parents were either "idiots" or "maniacs"?

I always did like Cat Stevens (so there, Dave!)
And could George Carlin have been any funnier?

All that said- I'm glad I'm done with it. My boys are on there own!!!!!!Yippee!!!!!

Dave said...

Gewels - Couldn't agree more about George Carlin... he was absolutely brilliant! Cheers!

Old Lady said...

I'll give you what little patience I have, never having had children myself!

red-dirt-girl said...

Steve,

It doesn't appear that I can add anything new to the discussion on raising children.....all I tell them is 1. I'm sorry, I screwed up (a lot)and 2. I'll be happy to pay for your first year of therapy AND listen to you when you blame me for your miserable life......

I like George, but never listened to him too much....

Ahhhh Cat Stevens.....my prepubescent idol!!!! I had all his albums.....(actually I still have a number of his CD's including the most recent Yussef...) Hey, here's a funny.....On the back of the album cover of Teaser and the Firecat was a huge photo of Cat with his collar unbuttoned to there, showing his manly hairy chest....I used to practice kissing using his photo....strange now that I think about it......

rdg

Barbara said...

The interesting thing about parenting is we spend what seems like eternity dealing with kids' screwups and giving them advice. Then right about 80 the tables turn and it's their turn to tell us how to live our lives. Some days I'm ready for that...

Mother of Invention said...

Have never had kids but I know I'd be lenient since I am with my cats!
My old cat used to jump up on the kitchen table and lick my buttered toast...and I'd say, "That's okay, I'll just make another one and what else would you like on it?!!"

Loved Cat Stevens and still have Tea For the Tillerman but no recent stuff.

George was funny!

Water Baby said...

one word dad... curfew

My curfew had always been about 10 pm... well 2 days after I turned 18, my curfew was changed to 9pm... am I the only one here that thinks thats a bit odd?

steve said...

Yes, gewels, I am very erratic and have NO Balance and she never knows what kind of Arbitrary judgements I might hand down. Its getting worse every day.

ol Lady- Every little bit counts...

RDG... its good to know I'm not the only one keeping the Therapists ids following their forefathers footsteps...now here is that Joan Jett Album cover I like to keep handy

barbara- Revenge!

mOI... YES YES YES Thats how it is here... I make a bowl of Ice Cream and she gets it and so I say OK and just make another one... she is pampered!

Water Baby...yes, i know honey you are soooo oppressed...

kissyface said...

wait a minute, you moved her (waterbaby) curfew BACK when she reached the age of majority?

is this one of those "my house, my rules" kind of situations? sheesh.

still, she likes musician, and that's grounds for putting her in a convent, so maybe you're making the right choice.

steve said...

KF- can you recommend a Convent? One far away? Do 'sheesh" mean what I think it do?

kissyface said...

i don't know what you think "sheesh" means. to me it's a way to say "aw geez." like, wow, that's tough.

Water Baby said...

see, she agrees with me!!!