Tuesday, November 11, 2008


(click here) for the "continued from".

“Howdy do...yeah, I got somethin for the head!
Come on, come stand over here, it’s the best spot on Campus. Want a hit? Yeah, its Wahokkan and it is good. See, from here you can see down the side of the building both ways and if a Counselor or any Narcs show up, we got a runnin start to the Parking Lot. They'll never know what hit 'em. Lobo is out there with all her girls. See that “72 Civic, the Purple one with the smoke comin’ out the rear window? Theres more girlie-girls packed into there right now than a Future Teachers of America Convention. Sometimes they let you party with em, but you gotta wait for the invite. Won't take long, man.

When the wind is just right, comin out of the lot, you can get high just standin here, and seein’ as how jus’ ‘bout every other car is packed with Freaks all tuned in to KZEW its like were getting’ “Smoke on the Water”… in Quadraphonic too. Pretty cool

From here we can see everything. We got a better view of the Parking Lot and the Drivers Ed course over there than Mr. Purcell up there in the tower. They put that in last year, looks like something out of a Yogi Bear vs.The Park Ranger episode. Purcell thinks from up there with his Binoculars he’ll be able to see whats goin’ inside the vehicles while everybodys practicing driving.
Say again? Yeah, it looks like something a Boy Scout Troop made. He climbs three flights of ladders every day to get up there.
No, you’re right, they didn’t spend much money on it and it don’t look real safe.

Uh oh, there goes Fightin Joe. Looks like he's on a mission. He’s got Tiny Fontana with him too. They’re probably lookin’ for someone for Tiny to beat up while Fightin’ Joe holds ‘em. Tiny is little, but he’s a coward and that makes him dangerous, especially since he’s Joe’s only friend besides Mimi.
No, she’s not French... but don’t look now cause here comes Soafy in that Rabbit Jacket of hers.
88 degree's in the shade, Soafy's gotta wear that jacket. Her mommas REAL French, barely even speaks English, but Soafy's from Brooklyn. She likes to think she's French though.

Listen! Hear that squeaky sound?
No, it ain’t her snatch, but you crack me up… its that Patent Leather Ultra Miniskirt she wears. Man she’s really truckinain’t she? Check it out, she’s gonna want a light for her cigarette…she’ll let it dangle until she decides to make Gentlemen out of us, and ask us if we ain't gonna light her cigarette.

Hey Soafy, whats happenin'?!
No, ma’am, I do not know what Joe and Tiny are up to besides no good. Lookin for who? What do they want with Buck? He did what? You don’t mean it! He and Mimi? But she’s his Half-Step Sister. Yeah, I guess that don't plug no holes. Aren’t I gonna what? Oh sure, here you go…man I need a cig too after hearin that shit.
Buck and Mimi. My my!
Ok, catch ya later!

Man! Buck Baumgardner is screwing his own half step sister, Mimi, which just happens to be the most notoriously baddassed’ dude in the world's girlfriend. Fightin’Joe must be wiggin’ out. Someone's gonna get hurt, I guarantee you me.
Buck better keep his ass well hid.

Whats that? Soafy? No, not me…everyone thinks I am but the fact of the matter is I’m the only one thats not.
Yeah, it gets pretty intense around here for sure. Whats your name? Good to know ya, Stanman…They call me Bulletholes. See ya ‘round”

to be continued


Barbara said...

This sort of reminds me of Happy Days gone X-rated. Can't wait to see where it's going. Is there even a grain of truth in it or is this just Bulletholes with his best imagination?

bulletholes said...

Hundred percent, Barb, 100%.

Anonymous said...

Your a funny man!! I think I was not in the car!

Citizen H said...

Hmm. Hunter S. Thompson meets Barney Fife. Nicely done!

Citizen H said...

PS Part two seems to have been omitted...

bulletholes said...

High praise coming from you...I didn't know I could write like this and I wasn't sure that it was readable, though the story is good.

I'll have links you can follow in a post today...it may not surprise you to know that much of this is inspired from Kissygirl.....if you follow the link in Part one alled Urban Legend, then click on "Shelleys Heart" witghin the post, it will take you to Charm School and a post she did that really "lit a fire" under me.

Hey Anonymous! If you are who I think you are then you can attest to the people places and things in this story...its not far off from bering Gods own truth!