Tuesday, November 18, 2008

110 Posts in 120 Days

And tonight at my NA Meeting I will get a Keychain, I don't remember what color, for being 'Clean and Sober " for 120 Days.
110 Posts in 120 days.
Does anyone think there is not a connection?
Me either.
Check out the post that started this run. (click here)

So my BFF the RDM wants the SOP on the DBP (Daily Blog Post) to be less stylized.
Okee-Dokee, I'll try to dial it down and share the truths of my life.
I have some posts, true too, that will m ake you laugh, RDM.
But for today at least, well, my truths are not so funny.

Two girls, both 19, had friends die this week.
One lost her friend in a drug related car crash.
The other refused to give her friend her Prescribed medicine, and that friend committed Suicide 3 hours later.
Of course they blame themselves.
Did you ever blame yourself for something and have someone tell you that you didn't need to do that?
Did it help one damn bit?
Very sad.
Thats all.


Anonymous said...

Jesus, steve. As somebody who's been in NA for a long while, I'm glad to hear you talk about this stuff. I rarely if ever talk about recovery or related issues on my blog, mainly because sincerity scares the bejesus out of me and I'd sooner hide behind the feelings-proof rock of irony. But 120 days is a big deal, as is 1 day for that matter. For people like us not being wasted is a deeply unnatural act. That makes staying clean, though I'm anything but a religious guy, a miracle.

Yrs, UF MIke

bulletholes said...

Mike, I 'preciate that!
I've debated with myself whether to share this or not and there are a lot of reasons not to.
But I've always treated this blog more as a journal than anything, so thats what it is and thats what we got.
If I can admit to makin' out with my friend Greg in the 5th Grade, this ought to be a piece of cake.

soubriquet said...

A third of a year, Mr Bulletholes, that's something to be proud of. As is, being brave enough to talk about it, and not be afraid to laugh at yourself sometimes.
I've never had to wrestle with drink or drugs, for which fact I'm grateful.
One thing you said struck a chord. I'm a hoarder. I should admit to it. I keep stuff I really don't need, and I'm the opposite of being a tidy freak. So my home is an obstacle course. And instead of donating a truck load of really very useful things and maybe a few thousand books to charity, or the dump, I look at it and think... "Meh!".... "I'll do it next week". And next week never comes. Yep, I'm big on avoidance there.
Sometimes of course, my posting is by way of avoiding things I really should get around to. I've been here eight years. Maybe I should aim to use some of the paint I bought eight years ago?
Meh! Tomorrow....

Rick O'Shay said...

We all have our deamons. I won't say mine because it's illegal. Although it can be prescribed. I thought I was over it. I went 3 weeks without. I'm seeing a shrink but it's not helping.
I congradulate you on yor success.
I'll continue to follow your blog for inspiration.

GrizzBabe said...

I am so glad you are blogging about this. You may not only help yourself but some other people as well.

Barbara said...

If you want another story about blame and guilt, go see "Rachel Getting Married." My husband tried to pass it off as a comedy, but it is far from funny for the most part.

Sad things actually happen all the time every day unfortunately.

red dirt mule said...

this is more like it - more like YOU
and you know perfectly well what i meant by 'stylized' -

you dialing it down? ha. when the proverbial hell proverbially freezes over. but i like hearing your authentic voice. the pain has always been there behind the laughs .... a shadow story. only one that you can and should tell.

so am I to assume that the Saturday night party from which you called me last weekend was a 'bring your own dr. pepper and some chips and dip type?' just askin' is all ...

i don't feel compelled to share any deep dark secrets of my own. i mean, come on --- any woman who morphs herself into a mule is certifiably insane - then, geesh - add the red dirt factor ???


ps. okay. i'll share one: i had a really freaky Halloween this year. My biological father, whom I have not seen nor heard from in over 7 years, appeared at my door, ringing the bell just when trick or treating began ..... i thought it was a trick in poor taste ....

and he keeps re-appearing every weekend.

so ... okay. i'm too old to still grudge him. and a sometimes wiseass friend told me to cut my dad some slack.

Is he clean this time? can't tell. he's talking everyone's ears off (our floors are literally covered with ear parts) - and he's flying a rocket ship to the moon .... and he really really loves his little girl and her children ...

what the heck: i need all the love i can get these days. and the truth is .... i'm just like my dad.

Anonymous said...

You made out with your friend Greg in the 5th grade?

UF Mike

bulletholes said...

Thanks all for your comments and support...I'm having an easy time right now and highly motivated to be good...the test comes a year from now when I think I'm "safe".
I've been thru this a number of times but always on my own and I always relapse.

bulletholes said...

UF Mike...yeah....
here you go.