Monday, November 17, 2008

ONE WIND = THREE HILLS

Or
ASK A STUPID QUESTION, GET A STUPID ANSWER

Well, after looking at the dream I posted up at 2.22 AM last night, still sportin’ wood and everything, I almost wish I had'nt because it is kinda rude.
But that has never much stopped me before, has it?

Any way, I know what that dream was all about.
Seems like I was in a running battle with just about everybody I had to deal with last week, except for the Xmrs Bulletholes.
I was asking questions I wasn’t supposed to ask, and even if it was a good question, I phrased it wrongly.
People were asking me some of the most dipshit questions I ever heard, all designed to inflict some kind of mental anguish in me, or to reduce my overall self-image.
I was coming up with ideas, good ones too, all soundly rejected.
I offered great suggestions that would save money time and material. All dismissed casually by the powers that be.
I can't think of a single thing I talked about last week that anyone had ani idea what the hell I was talking about.

I was the recipient of 173 eye-rolls that I am aware of.
I got 1 lousy "Good Morning" and 6 direct "fuck-You's", one of them coming from the nice Christian lady that lives around the corner. That was my fault though, you shouldn't share your blog with people you blog about.

A little old lady at the Supermarket hit me with her purse when I reached to pick up the quarter she dropped.
The little doggie that lives next door, the one it took a year to befriend, started back to barking incessantly every time I walked out my door.
My key broke off in the mailbox, and the Post Office wants to charge me $50 to fix it.
No Sunday Paper. I don't want to fight over a newspaper.
I called an old friend to see if he wanted to go to dinner. We managed to argue about everything including the check. I let him win that one, but I sure remember why I don’t like him much.
That’s all just for starters, just the little stuff.

To cap it all off, I was to have a phone line and Internet installed with AT&T last Monday. In the course of 9 days I was on the phone with them or at one of their worthless little outlets for about 6 hours. If it actually gets installed today, as “Promised” it will be nothing short of a miracle.
Need I say more?
So that is my explanation and apology for such a dream as "Immaculate Conception”.
I can't think of anything I am less interested in arguing about than the Virgin Mary 'cept maybe Dudley Do-Rights horse.

On the bright side, I went for a long bike ride Saturday, and found that for my return journey I would be riding into the teeth of a 35 MPH headwind. So, yeah, Miss Mule, life can be a frightening bitch!

9 comments:

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Hmmm. Seems to me you just have a little of those negative spirits around. Need to hire a voodoo
specialist? Let me know! ;)
"They say you're usin' voodoo, I seen your feet walk by themselves."

soubriquet said...

"Sporting wood"? Mr Bulletholes? Being as I'm an englishman, (fee-fi-fo-fum), and don't speak your language very well, are you referring to a baseball bat?
Or perhaps a pool-player's long thing.... er... cue?

Anonymous said...

Did you turn into a vampire w/o your knowledge?? Dogs barking at you, little old ladies beating you w/ a purse--humm???
Good luck THIS week. Tina

bulletholes said...

pIE, bABY;
"Try to be pure at heart, get arrested for robbery...
Mistake my shyness for aloofness, my sinus for snobbery"

Souby...I can only imagine what the English call it. I think we are on the same page here.

Tina, its gonna be a good week. every now and again I have a week like last one. probably four a year. That ain't too bad considering my good weeks are GREAT!

leslie said...

Dudley Doright has a HORSE??!!!
I didn't know that! :)

red dirt mule said...

it's your blog ... you can write what you want to !!

but i do miss the 'old cowboy' voice which sounded more like you than this 'newer' stylized version that you've picked up from somewhere else.

now that i can't count on you for a laugh, where shall i go?

rdm
xxx

ps. Sounds like Davey has picked up the same 'new voice over' bug that you have - is this a genetic thing ??? snicker.

Anonymous said...

Anytime you wanna argue about Dudley Doright's horse pal, here I am. Or Dudley Doright himself for that matter. I hate him almost as much as I hate that "Gallant" from the Goofus and Gallant comic in every month's Highlights Magazine. Do-good mofos get my goat.

UF Mike

bulletholes said...

Hey Lesley! He had a girlfriend too!

RDM- I'm not sure what you mean. Can't count on me for a laugh?
Au contraire!
Mike- There is a long running debate among some of my stoner friends about D-doright.

leslie said...

Yeah, but Nell liked the Horse. Dudley...not so much.