Thursday, March 15, 2007

THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION

"Very occasionally, you meet people who send your mental energy level through the roof. The result is a non-stop firing range of banter. I love that feeling about as much as any other - it's an incredible outlet. You feel more fully yourself and like someone else entirely, all at the same time."
kissyface

'We seek in others that which is the deepest reflection of ourselves, and to the extent with which we value that reflection we will either experience...or fake...a sense of self-esteem..."
Francisco d'Anconia

Have you ever seen a young man and woman out on a date, and as he helps her from the car, even while having opened the door for her, begins to look at her not in a Romantic way, but in a way a Vandal might look at a fresly painted fence, or a punk might look at the side of a building with a can of spray paint in his hand?
Is feelin' good... good enough?

Part 3...
well.. lets just say this one is pretty poor even if you have read the previous two...

RDG has asked a very good question, but I am hardly one to answer it. If I knew all that, do you imagine that I would have been single, and I do mean SINGLE, for ten years?
I remember being at a Sunday School Class last year, the "Singles Group" I have written about before and the leader brought in a book called 'Safe People" about dating relationships. She said it was a great book and she had read it Hundreds of times....of course I could not resist and asked for how long now she had been single and had she found a Boyfriend yet...I think it was the only joke I made that got a laugh from that Class...the irony was not lost...she slapped the table and laughed like a Demon...
A few lessons later the question was raised as to how we knew if someone was "Safe" or not...
of course I had to pipe in again...
"Because they are not as much fun as the unsafe people!"

Laura was not a safe person... but if you needed a runnin' buddy and were willing to break a few laws and leave a $20 bill on the counter of the 7-11 after hours as you passed by with a Six-pack and a bottle of wine saying
"keep the change"
...she was your girl.
Laura and I probably looked at each other like a couple of Vandals... but man, she was a blast!

I stole a Heart -Shaped Brandin' Iron off the wall of the Restaurant we worked at...it was wasted up there and she was just the girl to have something like that as a conversation piece.
After 30 years she still has it.
Making out with Marshmallows and Pop Rocks was pretty good too, passing them from tongue to cheek and back again...you know you can use Marshmallows as spitwads too, but its best with your clothes off...such a pretty mess.

Self-Esteem? Who needs it.

So first it was Mark that kept us apart, and then it was Kristi: poor Duke... we just had to go around him... and then suddenly.... I was married. After a couple of kids I did not do any more fishing with Laura, and no, it was not Laura that ended my 13 yearMarriage. In fact, I had lost track of her until 3 years after my divorce, when a buddy found her working at the Airport Hotel as a Bartender. Seems she was telling a story about me that he recognised and after a few questions, he indicated he knew me. She gave him her number, which he gave to me and I gave her a call.

The first question she asked me was "Are you like all these other Divorced guys that have all this "baggage" and give all their money to their ex-wives and don't remember how to be single?"
"Well, I don't think I have any baggage."
We didn't exactly pick up where we left off...Laura had not changed a whit, hadn't seemed to, but maybe I had...
"to the extent with which we value that reflection we will either experience...or fake...a sense of self-esteem..."
And as is typical with Laura and I, before we could really figure anything out... I ran into a girl at a coke machine...once again something had come between us.

I tell my daughter that all the boys she is trying to negotiate a relationship with are small Potatos... and when the right one comes along, all the negotiating will just fly out of the window and you will just melt into each other...
"You feel more fully yourself and like someone else entirely, all at the same time."
I've spent 30 years negotiating with Laura...I've spent 6 years in some form of negotiation with Lily...I'll leave the brainwork to you.


POST-SCRIPT;
This is so clumsily done I have considered removing it except for the two Quotes...I will leave it up for now, in hopes that someone comes by that gets it...but I doubt the likelihood of that... someday I will re-do this one, when I find the clarity to do so. 3/18/07

11 comments:

Barbara said...

You might not be the best long-term investment, but the short term would definitely be a blast. I love the part about the naked marshmallow game. I'll have to try that one... this weekend. HA!

bulletholes said...

Oh Barbara...do let us know how that goes! tell Dave he can thank me later!

Mother of Invention said...

36 years of negotiations! Yikes! I guess I should be wishing that you find a babe who it's Deal or No deal with all negotiations closed! Mind you, it sounds like you love the blast part, (and all of us do to a point) but you might even find that tedious. I don't know..I guess there are people who are just made for the blast part and not the marriage/long term thing...could you be one of those? Then, that'd be all right if that's all you really want...and if that's all she wants and no one gets hurt, then Laura sounds perfect!

You have a lot of irons in the fire anyway and have lots of friends who are babes.

GrizzBabe said...

I'm a little slow. Somebody tell me about the naked marshmallow game. I have a feeling I'm missing out.

Anonymous said...

Well, Steve......

I think MoI has a pretty good point there.....because it does sound like the commitment bug is a scary bug to you (sort of like Kristi's palmetto bug - flying at you - you all screaming backed into a corner...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! - it's got Hitchcock written all over it....or at least an excellent comedy!)

And you've yet to explain what possessed you to scatter valentine candies all over Laura's steps as well as Lily's........but then again, you answered it with your negotiation line.......

I like Kissyface's lines......but I think it takes more than that, actually.....maybe something deeper.....well you know me - always diving in dark waters anyway...a heart connection maybe? a soul connection? sometimes it is not a question of What If? but just a leap of faith - which is what the Sunday school teacher DIDN'T learn from her dog-eared book......sometimes you just gotta jump......and hope you don't break your kneecaps when you land.....

thanks for answering.....seriously.

rdg

bulletholes said...

Yes, well except for the Quote from kissyface this is a pretty well screwed up little post...the central point is SUPPOSED to be in the quote from Francisco...
MOI.. yeah, 36 years...its not supposed to be that tough is it...I don't know if I'm made for either one anymore!

Grizz...I started to link that to you because I just knew you would feel this way...really,I did!(and your post a few weeks ago, some kind of survey you were doin')

RDG- If you really knew me, the idea of me being committed would scare you too! The candies? I'm just kinda sentimental with a lot of time on my hands! I knew Lily would get a kick out of it...Laura, well I stiil haven't talked to her but she would not really imagine it was me...which is motivation enough!


Sorry for the screwy post...ya'll be careful with those Marshmallows, you could choke on one.

bulletholes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Old Lady said...

I always did like the bad boys myself. They do make the ticker flutter! Hey you gals out there, I believe this one likes red-heads! Am I right?

bulletholes said...

Ol' lady...I am partial to Red!

kissyface said...

hilarious. thanks for quoting me, what an honor. but i must say i felt a 'tit pang when i read the next quotation - i certainly didn't intend that my statement represent anything deeper, as expressed in the second.

reflection in the other - that is something we all seek in deep, committed love. what i was talking about is something very gratifying, but far more superficial, fleeting even. but i think you knew that.

bulletholes said...

Thank you KF...by "very occasionally' you do mean very rarely...have you ever tried to fake that feeling? What is it about that other person that allows you to experience such a feeling?
The second quote runs on a much deeper level. Our highest Values. Platos Symposium.
I think the two pair up nicely.
The post sucked.