Monday, February 09, 2009


I went to see ’Gran Torino” Friay Night at the Movie Tavern. Its one of those Theaters that you order dinner and they serve hard liquor and I imagine they might even have a bottle of Dom Perignon laying around somewhere. Its a Movie Theater that doesn’t smell like Popcorn, nope…it smells like a bar!
A few years back, my kids took me there to see ‘Soccer Dad “ with Will Farrel, and all I really remember was that when they turned the lights back on at the end and I stood up and looked around there were a lot of drunks passed out in their seats.
I wondered how much they paid the the poor SOB that had to go shake ‘em out of those seats.

So Friday night Kim and I got our tickets and stood in the line to be seated and I began to notice that there were a lot of women in my line.
So many that I was compelled to do a quick count of my line and the entire lobby….
There were 49 women and only 6 men! And the 5 men besides me that were there were sitting at the bar, watching "Sportscenter", completely oblivious to what was going on behind them.
And in line with me to see Gran Torino, a Clint Eastwood movie, I was the only dude!
Shit! The guy is almost 100 years old and he still packs ‘em in.
And these women were dressed to the Max!
Miniskirts, Go-Go boots, Black Lacy things, Frilly little pink and mauve things, all that lipstick and eyeliner and rouge.
They all had that lean, hungry look too.
I can still smell the Chanel.

I told Kim I hadn’t seen this much Poontang since I snuck into the Girl Scout Camp back in 1972.
My line peaked at 55 women and just me.
Then I found out we were in the wrong line.
We were in line to see ‘He’s Not That Into You”.

I’m going back in tonight….alone.


Waiter Extraordinaire said...

There you go! A nice mistake to have happen.Hey Chef!

cornbread hell said...


leslie said...

Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya Bullets?

Annie said...

I was sure you were going to say you realized you were in line for the womens' restroom.

MikeTheWaiterDotCom said...

Bullet, that's what I call a "target rich environment"! If you can't find a friend with those kind of odds, you better get some lessons in technique.
peace, mTw
I was waiting to hear the same thing as Annie in previous comment.

Barbara said...

I think I might actually like Gran Torino because it probably has a happy ending. Did you finally see it?

e said...


Poontang is a new word for me. I probably should not ask but is it a Texas word???

Anonymous said...

Poontang--A great Ted Nugent word. Steve, that theater experience of yours sounds like a J. Geils concert I went to once. Or like something I heard about heavy metal concerts in Norway, to wit the headliner plays first because by the end of the first band's set everybody in the audience is passed out. Girls--they're great.

UF Mike

bulletholes said...

Annie, thats funny!

Barbara, its very sad at the end.....I had to be held.

lesley, even you coulda got lucky there.
Waiter & Cornbread- hey!

MiketWaiter- I was surrounded by friends.

E-its a rude word and disparaging towards women, thought here are worse ones out there. its th P word, thats all I'll say.

UF- it reminds me of the time a buddy and I went to a hotel where a friend was Bartender. We were underage, and when we got on the elevator we found that the Future Teachers of America was having a convention there. What a weekend!
It would make a great Musical, doncha think?

leslie said...

My comment, "Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya Bullets?" was a derivitive of one of Clint's best all time quotes from Dirty Harry.
But you knew that...

bulletholes said...

"In all the excitement I kinda lost track myself, so the question you gotta be asking is..."
Great movie, Leslie!