Thursday, September 25, 2008

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

bULLET hOLES iN tHE mAIL bOX iS 2 yRS! oLD nOw!!!
gOT dANGF'N THAT STCKY DUMb cAPS LoCK KEY.
rILLUY, i'M BEEN A GUd LiDDLWE mSpeller, shes Jus" thATTa
Me TIPING Sux. Bad.
I'm fast thougfghj...wathch this..
iqjwd9-u86'QW.DLK XDSDKL;Seevsasdfghjkl;'qweryuiop[Zxcvnm,./

That says "In this world there are two types of people, those with keys and those with buttons"
I am the former.

Heres my password: qwertyuiop
It only takes me one millimeter to type it. SomeTIMES (oPPS) they want me to use a capital Letter and thats when I run into trouble.
You have to be smarter than the Caps Key.
But my password...
Its the top row of the key things, the ones with letters.
(putting index finger to lips) Shhh...don't tell no body, no one, no ow, no McCain.

Heres my first post I ever done. Kind of. Its really a dream.

"My job has required me to learn to use the Computer and develop some typing skills. This process has yielded some very interesting dreams, none better than the following-
I HAD ONE OF MY PSYCHO DREAMS LAST NIGHT-
I WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY W/ SHIP LOG, THE BOSS CAME IN AND OBSERVED MY METHOD OF OPERATION (M.O.) AND CONCLUDED THAT I NEEDED TO STRIKE THE KEYS HARDER……
"LIKE THIS" HE WOULD SAY, AND, BAM!!!,
HIT THE KEYBOARD HARD.
SO I WOULD TRY TO HIT IT HARDER BUT BEFORE TOO LONG I WOULD GET HUNG UP AGAIN AND BOSS WOULD COME IN AND ….
.BAM!!!...
AND THE DATA WOULD DIS-TRUNCATE AND THE INFO WOULD ALL BE THERE.
I WOULD BEGIN AGAIN TO ENTER DATA AND BEFORE LONG -YUP, BOSS WOULD COME BACK IN AND HIT THE KEYBORD AND TELL ME
"YOU GOTTA HIT IT HARDER"!


I BEGAN TO HIT THE KEYBOARD REALLY HARD BUT IT WOULD NOT WORK FOR ME.
Don't you just hate that?
FINALLY, I HIT IT REAL HARD AND WHOOPS!
SOME THING THAT SOUNDS LIKE An ATOMIC CAR ALARM GOES OFF AND A "JACK IN THE BOX" JOKER POPPS OUT OF THE TOP OF THE MONITOR, bouncing up and down and to and fro, AND THOSE BELLS ON HIS FUNNYHAT ARE RINGJINGLIN' AND HES HOLDING A SIGN THAT READS...............
"TOO HARD"!

SPRINGS AND MECHANICAL PARTS AND CANDY WRAPPERS AND ALLSORTS OF JUNK FLY OUT OF A GAPING HOLE IN THE KEYBOARD . I GRABBED THE KEYBOARD, YANKED THE CORD OUT OF THE BACK OF THE COMPUTER, AND MARCHED INTO THE BOSSMANS OFFICE , THREW THE KEYBOARD ONTO HIS DESK AND SAID "YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO ORDER ME ANOTHER ONE OF THESE"!

9 comments:

kissyface said...

Happy happy!

bulletholes said...

Slap-Happy! Hi Baby!

Mother of Invention said...

Congrats on the Big 2! Hey, I just figured out how to change all the capitals when you've accidentally hit the caps button!!
I'm worse than you!

rdg said...

the big 2 ???? you mean i've known you that long ???? yep, somehow (and we won't name who ..) we managed to link up soon thereafter.

and you've been my bestest friend ever since.

but i sure do miss those days of sexy shoes and even sexier menus that match...!

xxx
and many more
;) ;) ;)

(the wink that started it all, cowboy....)

banquet manager said...

You forgot to try and type the various smiley-faces with the keys. Must'of graduated to that level after 2 years...
Congrats.
Banquet Manager

Dave Mows Grass said...

Congrats! Thanks to you, I'll be having my Big 2 on Armistice Day a little before midnight. I don't know whether to love blogging or hate it. I only know that I can't seem to stop.

Great show, Stevie Ray! You are a goddamn no-shit wonderful writer.

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

...Well my parents they warned me not to waste my years... ;)

bulletholes said...

Thanks everybody, I'm gonna "bonus"
you guys...

xnjsy73mf=%_*hBr45&hDFal*87 88bhbbv!!!Didn't do itnnseue&ndCANT kfiMAKEw.,Mezxnmcv"n s swuumdWas too!

You know what that means?
NOTHIN"!

leslie said...

I'm laughing so hard at, "I'm fast thougfghj...wathch this..."

Now when my fingers behave independently of my desires, I'll just call it 'fast"! Ha!

Happy twooth!