Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I'll mend my wounds and wait out the winter...

j. mcmurtry

I WAS MOVING THE XMRS. Bulletholes, Yvette, last weekend.
She and her present day husband, sometimes referred to as the New and Improved Future XMrBulletholes have been separated since last Christmas.
Yvette had actually rented an apartment 4 doors down from me.
We really are good friends, and I was looking forward to having her as a neighbor and hopefully being invited for dinner several times a week, not because I imagine candlelight, wine and roses, but simply because while I may be a world class Chef, my cooking lately really stinks.
I am thoroughly disgusted with my own cooking.
I have eaten everything that I know how to cook.
I have been reduced to making Quesadillas on my Combination George Foreman Grill and Laundry Press.
But as bad luck would have it, when she went to get the key for the apartment and took a look inside, she found more than three roaches, which constitutes a swarm, and she went to the office and ripped her lease to shreds.
She will not abide no Roach, no sirree..
I wasn't just disappointed…I was terrified!...
...that with no place to move her to that I might be having her as a houseguest for some amount of time.
We are not that good of friends.
She made arrangements to move her stuff to storage and she will stay with her friend Tara.
She was unable to conjure up any friends or family to help with this move, so I helped her for the next 8 hours, and we finished up about 2A.M. in the morning.

It was during the move that I remembered back to a day 12 years ago that was one of the worst days I ever had.
She was moving her stuff from our house. “Her stuff” meant whatever she wanted of “Our stuff”.
If that were not bad enough, she had about 25 people helping her do it, mostly her family and a few of our friends.
I was not allowed to help that day.
So I sat in front of my Stereo and played really sad songs for her Uncle Chuck.
I think they probably paidhim extra for that.
As I watched I knew that in a few months I would be moving what was left, but that I would probably be doing it alone.
The only bright spot was when they told me some chick showed up that had the hots for me and caused a real scene.
I can't even remember her name, and besides that I wasn’t even there at the time.
But thats a whole 'nother show.


leslie said...

So, if a chick that really had the hots for you showed up at your door now, what would you cook for dinner?
(still laughing at the Forman combo Grill and Laundry Press reference)

bulletholes said...

Considering the condition of my place right now, we would go out...but we would go out for the "Peel and Eat" buffet.